Dirty Disaster

Yesterday (March 16th), I went out by Hueco Tanks to do the Dirty Girl obstacle course 5k. I went with 2 of my friends from dance, and we had the amazing team name of Taco Kickers (We’ll put a thunk in your junk!). It’s fun, if kind of expensive at the $75 early-bird price. It’s for a good cause though, because the funds go to breast cancer research.  My other favorite team name was Stop the War in My Rack, which…hilarity.  A bunch of our friends were nervous about having the name Taco Kickers in a primarily Mexican area but whatever. They all chose Hakuna Matatas because I guess they don’t understand wordplay and that it should be Hakuna MY Tatas. But I digress.

Look, here I am when I first arrived!

See how I’m not in tears and don’t appear to be in pain? That changes later. *Dun dun DUNNNNNNN* /dramatic music.

My team members found me when Ken and I got there, but when I was checking my gear at the holding tent I lost them.  We kind of looked for them a little bit. Then since I have no concept of time I just said I’d wait by the start line. They’d have to show up eventually! Probably!

Doesn’t it just look fun? Because I think it looks like fun things are about to happen!

I watched a few heats leave as I waited for my people.

I think this was the next to last heat before ours. Lookit how big it is! There weren’t near that many people in our heat.

 

Then they came to the start line and found me! Again. We did a few posed shots so people would know where we were.

Hey look, we’re at the Dirty Girl mud run!

Then it was our turn almost! Here’s our “look bored!” shot.

See how empty? Ain’t nobody in the 10:30 heat! Except our friends from Hakuna Matatas, but I don’t think they were in the gate yet. Or that might be a couple of them behind us! I have no idea.  The announcer guy in charge of keeping the crowd pumped up gave us instructions on stuff, warned us about some of the obstacles, and seemed worried about our motto when I had him read the back of my shirt. He also told us how to signal that we’re injured. I figured I’d never need THAT information, but retained it.

Here it is. My nemesis. The big pink triangle bouncy thing that has been really hard to describe when people would ask “So how did you do this?” later on. It’s the very first obstacle! It was maybe 50 feet from the start line. Team Taco Kickers skipped to it and clambered up.

Then we came down, YAY! Here I am 2 steps before disaster hit, obviously in the middle of some bad decision-making (otherwise I wouldn’t be smiling).

Char and Amber’s friend Jaci (of Jaci Greggs Photography) had an amazing camera and got this ACTION SHOT!!! 3 more bounces to the end, yay! Only on the next to last one, when I went to jump someone bounced on it, so I trampolined crookedly into the air and landed on my right ankle, which felt…funny. I then flew back into the air. As I did a perfect PLF I watched my feet fly over my head and noticed that hey, my right foot is almost at a 90° angle. That seems like it’s probably bad. I sat up at the edge of the landing pad and crossed my arms over my head, which is the info I conveniently remembered from the “safety brief” from like, 5 minutes ago.  I decided to keep my eyes closed and not look at my ankle again because frankly, that shit freaked me out. I heard people coming over to me and calling for the medic and I decided well, I know this needs to be elevated. I’ll just do that. So I lay back and stuck my leg in the air.

See the super creepy weird bulge near my sock? Yeah. Surprisingly it didn’t hurt. Yet. You can see Char in the background being an awesome friend. When I finally realized she and Amber were still there I yelled at them to GO FINISH THE RUN! But I really appreciate them sticking around. I GOT GOOD FRIENDS Y’ALL.  They ended up cutting my neat elastic shoelaces and also cutting up one of my prized REI socks. I am sad about the sock. I hate uneven socks!

See how depressing this is? Poor abandoned sock. They stuck me into a go kart or…something, I don’t know. I had my eyes closed a lot. By the time I got to the medic tent it was starting to hurt. I decided against an ambulance because Ken was with me, and then we headed to the Army hospital.

Sad times.

About twelve hours, ONE dose of pain meds, 3 x-rays, a CT, 2 MRIs, and a lot of wtf-ery on the part of the hospital staff later, I left with a headache, some vicodin, and a diagnosis of “severe sprain and some other weird crap we don’t know what it is exactly so come back to Ortho on Monday”.  Today has been spent wobbling around on crutches, asking Ken to do 9 billion things for me, and trying to get comfy as I nap.  Since my bed is about 5 feet high and I currently have a non- weightbearing status, I am sleeping on a row of storage bins with a memory foam mattess pad folded on top of it. It’s not comfortable, but it’s shockingly less uncomfortable than it sounds. I mean I actually did get some sleep last night.

Char and Amber finished the race like ROCKSTARS. YAY TACO KICKERS!!!

This picture is also by their friend Jaci, who was kind enough to let me use this and the “bad decisions” one in my blog. Thanks for being awesome Jaci!

3 Responses to “Dirty Disaster”

  • Bell

    Wow, dude, I don’t know jack about ankle sprains but that ish is crazy that it swelled up so quickly! I wouldn’t be able to look at it, either.

    THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO HAVE FUN AND BE HEALTHY.

    :)

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